Better Than A Memory
by airwavesskinnylove
Summary: There's a longer summary inside. Basically Rimmer and Lister oneshot. Drunken sex and revealed feelings. Rated M for obvious reasons.
1. Better Than A Memory

**Title: **Better Than A Memory

**Category:** Red Dwarf

**Genre:** Romance/Smut/Humour

**Rated:** R

**Warning:** Slash, M/M, Sex.

**Paring:** Rimmer/Lister

**Summary: **After a night of drinking Lister tries to make Rimmer cheer up, and he ends up admitting a bit more than he expected.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Red Dwarf, or any characters included.

**A/N:** This is twoshot, drunken sex fic set after Legion.

* * *

Sat in the officers' club, Lister couldn't remember the last time they came here, maybe when they were giving Kryten his goodbye party, when they thought he was being replaced. Either way it felt like a long time since he drank with the boys, if you could call his three crew mates the 'boys'.

"Rimmer, slow down man, I won't be carrying you back to the quarters when you can't walk." Lister shouted over the music, with a hint of happiness to his voice, yeah, he was admitting it, he was having fun.  
"Listy, Listy, Listy, I am still your superior officer; therefore I am obviously capable of my own self-control." Rimmer replied, slurring his S's.  
"Yeah, because you've never done anything embarrassing before while drunk", Lister added sarcastically.  
Rimmer scowled at him across the table, "I thought we weren't going to mention the Lisa Yates thing again."  
Lister laughed at his drunken angry stare, "Sorry, sorry, I'll never bring it up again", he apologised taking another swig of his pint.

Rimmer let it slide, but it still stayed in the back of his mind.

...

Later that night, after coming back to their bunk room, Lister and Rimmer where sat small talking over the night.

"Lister, I didn't want you to feel sorry for me." Rimmer said while sat on his bunk.  
"What you talking about now." Lister asked while sat at the table, head still spinning from the music and alcohol.  
"Yvonne Mcgruder. When I told-"  
"No. No Rimmer, you said to never bring it up again, you'll only regret it in the morning. " Lister said cutting him off mid-sentence.  
"No, I won't. I mean it, when I told you about her I didn't want your sympathy." Rimmer said looking up at his roommate.  
"I know man", Lister replied, turning to look at him, "I just. I couldn't see you like that, I thought giving you one of my memories might make you happy."  
"That's just it", Rimmer said, voice almost cracking, "It did make me happy, it made me very happy, but finding out it was all a lie just made everything worse. I never had love, and now, more than likely I never will."  
Lister got up from his chair and sat next Rimmer on his bunk, he didn't know whether it was the drink or if he genuinely hated seeing him like this. The last time he saw Rimmer this depressed was when he made the bad decision to give him his memory of Lisa Yates. He didn't know what to do this time, he was never any good talking about feelings.  
"Rimmer, there's always hope, if we didn't think that there was something out there what would be the point in trying."  
"You're not exactly making me feel better here Listy."  
"Yeah, I know," Lister replied, with a side smile, "But I don't know what to say, I can't lie and say there's someone right around the corner, 'cause I just don't know that. All I know man, is that you've got me, Kryten and the Cat, so at least you're not alone. And at the end of it all, I loved ya, so you've at least been loved by someone."

Lister looked at his friend who was staring at his hands in his lap. If he was sober he might have noticed how reviling that little speech was, but right now he just wanted to get Rimmer out of his self-hatred. All these years he's watched him fall into this pit, and he'd be lying if he said he didn't care.

Rimmer turned to Lister with confusion, surprise and something Lister had never seen written on his expression. It looked like Rimmer was trying to think of something to say, but not able to put his thoughts into words. Lister answered his unasked question anyway, "I mean it… I know we joke, and you are definitely and always will be a smeg head… but I still love ya. You're my mate man, and I don't know what I'd do without you." Yet again Lister surprised himself by his honesty, and he didn't even feel embarrassed by it.

Rimmer looked at his bunk mate smiling at the side of him, acting like he says that stuff every day. At first he thinks it must be a joke, why else would Lister say that, but looking at him he realizes he's got nothing to gain. When it finally sinks in that his friend is telling the truth, something hits him, he has no idea why but all he can think about is Lister's lips. Lister's sat there smiling like an idiot and all he wants to do his feel his lips on his. In any normal circumstances Rimmer would push those kinds of thoughts away and get back to orders, but now something's changed, whether it's the alcohol or Lister's honesty something makes him lean into Lister, pressing his lips against his.

Lister feels Rimmer kissing him and it takes him a moment to realise what's happening, and before he knows it he's opening up to him, letting Rimmer push his tongue into his mouth. Every voice in Listers head is screaming, but not one of them is saying stop. He feels Rimmer moan against his lips, then his brain catches up with his actions and he pulls away.

He's in complete shock, and Rimmer doesn't say a word, just stays eyes wide and completely still not knowing what to do. Lister looks at him, he was just kissing him, and even more surprising he was enjoying it. Can he enjoy it, is it allowed, I mean not the gay thing, but this is Rimmer, is he allowed to be enjoying 'him', enjoying his mouth against his, wanting to feel his skin under his clothes. Just those thoughts going through his head sends blood rushing to his crotch.

It takes him less than a second to decide he doesn't care, if he regrets it tomorrow he doesn't care, either way he wants him right now and he's going for it.  
Lister lips crash with Rimmer's, forcing his tongue into his mouth. He pushes him down onto his bunk, pressing his body against him. Rimmer's shock soon subsides to the new feeling of how aroused he is. He can't take the distance between them so his hands move to Lister's waist, grabbing his shirt pulling him closer to him.

Lister can feel Rimmer pulling at him desperate for more contact, so he pushes his legs apart and fits his hips between them, grinding against him. The feel of him moving against him sending his nerves into over drive, he can feel through his layers of clothes and wants nothing more than to rip them off and stop them separating him. Lister puts his hand into Rimmer's hair, and pulls his head slightly to the right so he can kiss his neck. He bites and licks on the soft skin below his ear, knowing he is probably the first to ever do this to him, and loves the sounds coming from his mouth, all moans and his name.

Rimmer lays tranced by the feeling of his friends new found attraction. He grabs and pulls at Lister's clothes, pulling his shirt over his head, and then holding onto his back when Lister goes back to biting at his jaw line. Lister's hands move to Rimmer's buttons on his shirt, and he leans over his mouth and kisses him while opening every one.

Feeling Rimmer push his hips up into his is almost too much to bare, Lister moves to his chest kissing his way down licking over his nipples and watching Rimmer falter when he does. The closer his kisses get to his crotch the more Rimmer's hips buck up to him. He loves seeing Rimmer like this, open and honest, showing what he really wants, and he never thought it would be but it's a massive turn on.

He reaches into the top of Rimmer's trousers, tucks his fingers in and pulls them off, then feeling over his boxers, he rubs up and down his obvious erection the way he likes it, watching Rimmer moan and shake from his touch. He smirks as he watches Rimmer jerk with his eyes closed while he touches him, all he's ever wanted was to make love to someone, who would have thought it'd be him.

Pulling his boxers off, he moves his hand over his shaft and rubs his thumb over the head, rubbing the pre-come as added lubricant. Lister moves back up to Rimmer and kisses his lips, biting his bottom lip when all Rimmer can do is moan. He forces his tongue into his mouth again feeling Rimmer urge up to him, as if looking for more. All he can think is how amazing this feels, for once he's got complete control over his bunk mate, and he loves every second of it, and is asking for more. He never thought Rimmer would give up his power of authority to him.  
Lister doesn't know how long he can take it, seeing him like this, come undone from his touch, and his kisses. He wants Rimmer to touch him, do all the same things he's doing to him, but he likes watching him moan his name and move his hips into his hand.

When Lister removes his hand, Rimmer opens his eyes to see why, then sees him sucking his two fore fingers, he knows why he's sucking them, and is more aroused than ever, in a brave move he pulls the fingers from Lister's mouth and puts them in his own, sucking on them the way he'd just been watching. Lister's mouth drops open as he watches Rimmer suck on his fingers, he's never seen something look so hot, "Oh fuck, Rimmer", he pulls his fingers from his mouth and replaces them with his tongue.

While moving his mouth with his he presses his finger on Rimmer's entrance slowly pushing in. He can feel the short breaths Rimmer takes the more he moves his finger inside. After a while Lister adds another and moves them both slowly, opening him up.  
The more Lister hits Rimmer's soft spot inside him the more Rimmer realises he's been neglecting his partner. He pulls down his jeans and boxers and grabs his erection and pumps his hand over him.

Lister nearly crashes when he feels Rimmer working away on him and openly moans into his mouth.  
He looks down and watches Rimmer's hand moving over him, "I'm not going to last long with you doing that" he says smiling down at him.

Rimmer smirks then grabs Lister's mouth with his before whispering, "Do it, Lister… please". Those words make him falter; Lister positions himself between his legs, slowly forcing himself inside him, each little push earning a noise from Rimmer, and each moan Lister kissed away.

When he felt Rimmer was comfortable he started to move his hips slowly, feeling each stoke like heaven. Rimmer's legs were gripping at his hips, while Lister pants his name into his neck. He grabbed Lister's hair and forced him to his face, kissing and making Lister moan his name into his mouth instead.  
Thrusting harder each time made them groan louder, Lister holding onto Rimmer's hips, forcing himself deeper inside.

Lister couldn't remember the last time he slept with someone and it feel this good, maybe it was all the tension between the two of them finally being released, he didn't really care, just that he knew he'd rather be doing nothing else.

Lister could sense Rimmer jerking beneath him and knew it wouldn't be long before he came, so he reached between them for his cock, and rub along his shaft in the same motion as his thrusts. Rimmer shifted under him, curving his back and feeling his body move with free will, he called, "Oh god, Lister", as he came over his and Lister's stomach. Two more thrust and hearing Rimmer call his name in ecstasy was all it took for Lister to do the same. He bit down on Rimmer's neck as they rode out the orgasm, hot, sweaty and dizzy. Lister collapsed on top of him, with Rimmer breathing into the other man's hair.  
They didn't say a word, they didn't need to, it had been a long night, with a lot of truths being told. Lister didn't know if he or Rimmer would regret it in the morning, but he told himself to remember that no matter what he felt tomorrow, to just remember how good he felt when Rimmer shouted his name.


	2. The Next Day

_A/N I just had to write the 'next day' chapter to this. And it's total smut, so if you don't like that turn away now. (But how could you not.) And i want to say thanks to Merzkykrovvy for the idea to make him not remember, but i did decide to make it Lister instead. Enjoy. And if anyone has any more ideas, i'd love them._

* * *

Lister squirmed under the sheet in his bunk, slowly feeling the pounding pain in his head take over his mind. He groaned as he pulled his hand to his forehead to try to take some of the heat from the growing headache. Opening his eyes he saw the sheet over his face with the light glowing through it. He noticed that his sheet was a lot cleaner than usual, and smelt different; he thought he'd told Kryten he doesn't like his bed clean. Rolling on his side to face the wall, he pulled the sheet round his shoulder and opened his eyes trying to will himself to get up.

He looked at the posters stuck on his bunk wall, his first thought was, 'What the smeg has Rimmer put his signs on my wall for.' Before he screamed and fell from the bed, his eyes wide, and mouth dropped open, staring at the bunk in front of him.

"No. What was I doing in his bunk? He's gonna kill me." Lister said pulling himself off the floor and wrapping the sheet round his waist. He went and stood at the mirror and stared at his reflection. He felt like he was forgetting something important, something big, but just couldn't quite see it.

Running the water he splashed his face and wondered how he got in Rimmer's bed in the first place. Another splash to his face, and it hit him, the scene of him sat next to Rimmer when he had kissed him. His face shot back to the mirror like his reflection might give him and answer and say 'Nah, I'm just kiddin' man." Instead he just saw his own shocked and slightly scared image.

"It didn't happen." He said to his reflection. "Of course it didn't happen." And then the image of him pushing Rimmer down on his bunk and forcing his way between his legs entered his mind.

"No! No! No! That didn't happen; it's just a weird dream." Again the feeling of Rimmer's body hot and sweaty under his, moving with his own, came into his mind.

He grabbed the towel and dried his face, then leant into the mirror searching his eyes for… anything.

"Ohh smeg… I did… _We_ did… I slept with Rimmer." He whispered to himself.

How did it happen, how did he let this happen? Lister had had his fair share of drunken mistakes, but this. He looked back at the mirror, "It didn't mean anything. I don't even remember it. It's just a one-time thing." He whispered to his image, and was not convincing himself at all.

"Smeg!" He said turning to sit at the table, he pushed his face into his hands and couldn't believe what his mind was saying. Was he actually admitting he liked it? He had sex with Arnold 'smeg for brains' Rimmer, and actually enjoyed it.

But he definitely wouldn't do it again. No way. Not a chance in hell… Would he?

"No!" he said out loud, "No way."

At that moment Cat walked through the door way. "How's the head, bud?" He asked while grabbing some milk from the fridge.

"Cat! Where have you been?" Lister said as Cat stood behind the other chair.

"I was in the cargo decks searching for weevils. Why? And what's wrong with your face, you look like you've just seen Goal Post Head naked."

Lister decided to ignore the irony of what Cat had just said, "Nothing. Nothing's wrong with my face. I'm just tired and hung-over."

"Whatever. Alphabet head said the same thing." Cat said moving to leave.

"Where did you see Rimmer?" Lister asked trying to act casual, "Not that I care, or anything."

"He's in the drive room, shouting at the scutters. He seems a lot more annoying than usual." Cat said leaving the room.

Lister sat back in his chair, Rimmer must be anxious, and he had left here this morning without waking him. He had no idea what to do next. What could he say? What _was_ he going to do?

Rimmer was sat in the drive room staring at blank screens. He had been sat here for two hours pretending he was busy, staring at the monitors that were showing nothing but stars. He was actually hoping for a meteor or alien attack just so he didn't have to think.

When he woke up this morning, he had turned his head and noticed Lister draped over him, legs entwined with his, and completely naked. He had to hold back a surprised scream as he pulled himself from his arms, hoping not to wake him. If there was one thing Rimmer didn't like, that was confrontation, so he sneakily got dressed and left. He didn't have a plan; he was just hoping maybe it would all go away if he hid long enough.

He sighed at the screens, thinking the situation over in his mind. What was he thinking kissing Lister, of course he would pounce on him, he hadn't had any real human contact in over 3 million years, he would have shagged to bathroom matt if it kissed him first.

The worst thing about this was he knew Lister would be in here any minute, to tell him what a massive regret it was, and how it will never happen again. And he knew he would agree with him, and they would pretend like it was all nothing and never happened, all the time wishing he could just tell him the truth.

He thought in his head what he wished he could say, he would grab him, and tell him, 'Dave, what we did last night was amazing, and I know you feel the same way too.'

He scoffed at his own thought, thinking that it sounded like something Ace Rimmer would say. But no, he wasn't Ace and he couldn't say something like that. What could he do?

Lister had pulled on his jeans and t-shirt and decided he was going to get it over, with and just tell Rimmer straight. The sooner he ended this, the sooner they could get back to arguing like normal.

Walking in the drive room he saw Rimmer sat at the console and he felt his heart jump, he definitely didn't think this through.

He coughed to get Rimmer's attention, and he span round, "Listy!" Rimmer said in an unexpected high voice, he coughed and cleared his throat before repeating in a lower tone, "I mean, morning Lister".

"Yeah… Morning." Lister said taking the seat next to his.

They sat for a moment in silence, neither one wanting to say the first word. Lister looked at the screens and asked awkwardly, "Nothing on the radar?"

"No. It's been clear all morning." Rimmer answered barely looking at him.

There was another pause before Lister shook his head and stood up, "Look. Rimmer. What happened with us was ju.."

"I know. I know." Rimmer interrupted, "Just a mistake. I get it." He said still staring at the screens.

Lister scowled at him and replied, "No man. Not a mistake, it was just a… just… y'know."

"I get it, Listy." Rimmer said turning in his chair to face him. This was exactly what he expected. "Just forget it."

Lister looked at the man in front of him; he looked so small and sad. The words that came out of his mouth had no gusto; he could just tell he was hurting. He looked at him feeling almost heartbroken, seeing his sorrowful face. He hated making him feel like that.

Rimmer looked up to see Lister staring at him like he had just seen a puppy get kicked. It confused him; Lister had stopped talking and was just staring at him. Why?

He looked into is eyes and saw something he didn't expect to see. He saw the look he saw last night, right before he kissed him.

Seeing that in his eyes, he wanted to kiss him again, but he was feeling a lot less brave now the alcohol had left his system. Instead he looked at the door and wondered how fast he could run out to star bug, and to the nearest planetoid. He looked back at Lister's face, and it had changed, it was almost like he was asking for him without having to say it out loud.

Rimmer took a deep breath and said, 'Ohh, what the hell", just before he jumped from his chair and pushed Lister into the wall, slamming his mouth with his own.

He held Lister pinned at the wall by his wrist, with an amazing grip, holding him with a hard kiss. Lister felt Rimmer's body pressed up to his, unyielding and firm. He felt his lips and tongue move deep with his own, like it could be the only thing left to happen between the two of them.

Rimmer didn't know what he was doing, he decided the only thing he could do was use his dominance, and now he was here, he was scared to pull away, scared of what he might see in Lister's eyes.

Soon the demand for air became too much and he had to pull away, letting Lister take in a deep breath as he rested his forehead on his.

Lister stood, pinned, panting, utterly confused and turned on. He had no idea what he was thinking anymore. He had nothing to blame this on, he's completely sober and he still wants it. Even if he couldn't say it out loud, it was like Rimmer was reading it in his eyes, because he was doing everything he wanted.

Rimmer lifted his forehead off his, and slowly opened his eyes to see what Lister may be thinking. He searched his face and saw that he still had that look, but this time he wanted to hear it, he had to hear it, he couldn't go on again thinking Lister would regret it.

"Lister?" He whispered staring into his eyes. He saw him thinking about his answer, so he pressed his lips to his neck, and kissed slowly along his jaw to his ear.

"Lister. Say it." He whispered into his ear, and bit his earlobe, making Lister make a low growling noise.

He had no idea where his burst of confidence had come from, but he had to keep the upper ground, he _was_ going to make him say it.

"Ah… Rimmer, please." Lister said with his eyes closed, through almost gritted teeth.

"Please what?" Rimmer hummed from his neck.

"Oh smeg, Rimmer! Please… I want you." Lister said, surprising himself with his needy voice.

Rimmer smiled against his neck, and moved his kisses down to his collar, while freeing Lister's hands from his death grip.

Lister grabbed onto Rimmer's back, pulling his body closer to him, feeling the rise and fall from his chest. This was something Lister had never experienced before, he had never had someone take control over him like this, and he sure as hell didn't think it would be Rimmer, and he never thought he would enjoy it so much.

He slid his hands under Lister's shirt and brushed over his waist as he pulled it over his head. After dropping it to the floor, he grabbed Lister's head and forced his tongue in his mouth with ferocity, feeling Lister gasp in his mouth, he knew it was surprising him that he could be so forceful. And he wanted to show Lister this side of him; he wanted Lister to know he was someone else under the entire weasel exterior; he wanted him to know that he could be Ace if needed.

"Ahh, Rimmer." Lister said letting his head fall back onto the wall as Rimmer kissed down Lister's chest. He fell to his knees before Lister, and kissed along the seam where Lister's jeans met his stomach, he let his tongue trail a line along this seam, while he pulled open the button on his jeans.

He palmed him through his jeans, hearing Lister groan above him. Pulling open his jeans, he pulled them down to his knees, and was surprised that's all Lister was wearing.

Looking up he saw Lister watching him with his mouth open, waiting for his next move. He ran his hand lightly over his shaft, watching Lister's expression as he did so. He made sure to add barely any pressure, watching the need run over Lister's face.

"Rimmer. Please." Lister said, pleading with him.

"Tell me, Listy." Rimmer said, letting a smile play on his lips, while running his tongue along his bottom lip.

"Mouth… Use your mouth." Lister replied in a breathy voice, if he didn't do something soon he thought he would collapse.

Rimmer gave into him and licked the tip of his head. Holding him at the base he pulled him into his mouth, sucking him as deep as he could, moving back up he moved his hand with his mouth slowly over him, back and forth, licking the underside of his shaft with each stoke.

Lister threw his head back, absorbing the feeling Rimmer was giving him, he placed a hand in Rimmer's hair and twirled one of his curls in his fingers as he moved over him. His breathing was getting ragged, and every time Rimmer brushed his tongue over the tip of him, he shuddered and moaned up to the ceiling.

Rimmer pulled off him to quickly to suck his fingers, before moving back to pulling him into his mouth again. While moving his mouth over him, he started to circle his entrance and open up. Rimmer started to move faster, and sucked him harder into his mouth as he slid the first finger in. He heard Lister gasp, so he moved a hand over his stomach to comfort him, while he added another finger. He pulled his hand back down and pumped him faster, trying to bring him closer to the edge, while feeling him relaxing around his fingers.

Lister could feel the shock waves moving faster through his body and didn't know how he was still standing. Suddenly, Rimmer pulled away from him and stood up. He grabbed the back of Lister's neck and kissed him, before turning him around and pushing him against the wall.

He used his foot to move Lister's legs apart, pulling open his trousers and letting them drop down his thighs. He leant against Lister's body and pressed his cock against his entrance, slowly pushing inside.

Lister leant his head back on Rimmer's shoulder, while using his arms to support his weight against the wall. He scrunched his eyes, and Rimmer kissed his neck while moving slowly in and out of him. He held on to Lister's hips, while moving faster against him, biting on Lister's shoulder, feeling his weight around him and the very new feeling of being in Lister. Lister leant his head forward, resting against the wall, giving Rimmer a better angle to pump faster. Lister started to moan Rimmer's name into the wall, and Rimmer called Lister's name while biting his shoulder every time he felt a wave run through him. Rimmer moved his hand over the front of Lister's crotch and started to pump him, wanting him to come for him.

Lister threw his head back again, not being able to keep still; he moved his hand and grabbed the back of Rimmer's head, holding him on the back of his shoulder. He started to moan louder and he knew he was about to fall, then Rimmer said "Please Dave, ahh… do it", and he came in Rimmer's hand.

Rimmer came right after him, digging his fingers into Lister's hips, and biting his neck.

They both fell towards the wall, panting and exhausted.

Slowly the temperature started to fall, and Rimmer just noticed that Lister was practically naked, so he pulled his jeans back from his calves, and carefully fastened them by reaching around him. Lister didn't even seem to notice, he was still breathing against the wall. Rimmer then turned him around and pressed his body against his; he kissed him, and felt the soft moan come from Lister like his trance had been broken. He felt him smile under his lips and pulled away to look at him.

Lister's eyes were hooded and his mouth was set in a side smile.

"That wasn't a mistake." He said jokingly.

"I should hope not", Rimmer replied kissing him again. He finally felt like he wasn't hiding anything.


End file.
